written by Cinda Stevens Lonsway 9/18/11
For Wild Sister Magazine - October Issue
When I was a child, desperate to become a young woman who mattered, my father gave me a valuable tool which still helps me make choices that get me where I want to be.
Whenever I was presented with a tough decision - those kinds of moments when I didn’t know which direction to go - when everyone had a piece of sage advice, but none of the advice matched the other, and therefore none of it was helpful – when I tried to please everyone and therefore pleased no one, including myself - ugh! - I would become almost paralyzed with confusion, and then fear would set in - I would find myself spewing drama all over my father. Ahh, the drama of a teenager; my ego was bigger than the head it was carried in.
Cripes, you know those moments, that drama and trauma, those days of over-analyzing and over-thinking in the game of “What should I do?”! My inner spirit didn’t stand a chance as I let my ego dominate and control my every move. I was influenced by others who I thought were experts. Other people’s opinions of me, mattered to me. My head spun, my stomach turned, and my heart sank as I struggled with what my next move would be.
My poor father would silently listen as I ranted and raved on the verge of a teenage meltdown. And then he would calmly speak, his magical advice bringing me instant clarity in the chaos. The clarity brought silence, the silence centered me, and instead of climbing the walls, I became grounded. My ego was required to back off, and when it did, the clouds cleared, an image appeared, and I knew, I just knew what I needed to do.
But it wasn’t advice he gave me. It was a simple question he asked. A wizard in his wisdom!
That magical question?
“Cinda, If you had a magic wand, what would you do?”
Take a moment to breathe this in. Childhood fantasy, it isn’t. As an adult now, I can see what I didn’t then... the power in that question. By asking that question, my spirit was given permission to respond.
Try it. Right now, if you are at a crossroads in your life, and the decision making process seems overwhelming, ask yourself this question. There are no rules; it is magic!
“If you had a magic wand, what would you do?”
The list of choices might seem endless to you, but you will find that there is only ONE true answer. Once you give your spirit permission to respond, the ego will remove itself and your spirit will take over, sending you a vision of what your dream could look like.
Write it down. What does your vision look like, feel like? Don’t worry about specifics, remember this is magic, anything goes. The answer comes from your soulful dreams, your inner knowing, and your deepest desires.
Warning though, if you are like me, your ego is going to rear its ugly head again, it will have a field day letting you know how crazy your vision is. It will begin to put up roadblocks and detour signs, it might try to create drama and sneak in the old trauma. It will try, but it won’t work. My father’s wisdom would speak to me again.
My father would knowingly smile and answer back,
“Cinda, what about that makes you think it can’t be done?”
When we visualize the perfect scenario, with the help of our magic wand, there is no place for ego, only truth... our truth.
“What about your magic wand dream makes you think it can’t be done?”
I know now that the answers we seek are already inside of us; otherwise we wouldn’t have known to ask the question. The question is the wand, the hidden desire is the magic, and the answers are our ancient wisdom finding a way to communicate.
These days, in the era of The Law of Attraction, and Positive Affirmations, and Visualizations, and Meditations, and Facebook Prayer Requests, I can see that my father’s advice was way before its time. Because he was and still is RIGHT. When I told my dad I was writing about this, he responded…… “Well, of course you are; because it works!”
As an adult, I don’t spew all over my father anymore, but I still find myself asking his question:
“If I had a magic wand, what would I do?”
I am my own wizard now, but the teacher, he was very wise.
My father, Ken Stevens, now offering his
wizardly wisdom to his eleven grandchildren.
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